Basically, we are made of 3 parts...spirit, soul (mind, emotions), and body. The original plan was that God communicated directly to our spirit (the part like him) and then that information flowed into our mind and body. After the fall (Adam & Eve) we began trying to perceive God through our soul (mind) instead of our spirit. So instead of hearing from God directly, we are trying to filter him through our knowledge of the world...and it's not working. One glimpse at our screwed up society confirms this!!
Here's one of the books. I started reading it just a few days ago. I'm not far in yet but wanted to share what I've read so far.
Basically, we are made of 3 parts...spirit, soul (mind, emotions), and body. The original plan was that God communicated directly to our spirit (the part like him) and then that information flowed into our mind and body. After the fall (Adam & Eve) we began trying to perceive God through our soul (mind) instead of our spirit. So instead of hearing from God directly, we are trying to filter him through our knowledge of the world...and it's not working. One glimpse at our screwed up society confirms this!! I'm super excited to read this book. I think there will truly be a renewing of my mind!! A totally different way of thinking about and looking at God. It's going to be an
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God is moving. I don't understand the details yet, but I can tell you with confidence that God is beginning a great work in my life.
It's been a struggle lately. Having a two year old will do that to you! But it's more than that. It's something deeper. Call it anxiety, call is depression, call it an anger management problem...whatever label I choose something's not right. Here's a bit of the backstory. A few weeks ago, Evan and I had a terrible Saturday night. Both of us grumpy, both yelling, both angry. Nothing was being accomplished and I was too far into my temper to back out. The thought "I hate you" ran through my head...about myself AND about my son. It was not pretty. I wanted to lash out on him, verbally and physically. While I didn't, it was quite the eye opener that there might be a problem deeper than simply living with a strong willed two-year old. Anyway, that was Saturday night. Sunday morning I put on my church face and headed out. You know, the one that says everything's okay :) But God had other plans. During church Pastor Kent asked if anyone needed to be anointed for healing. While I was content to stand at my pew drowning is self-pity, God had a better plan. A swift kick in the spiritual butt and I was headed down front to pray. Well, mostly to cry. Everyone was praying around me...I was just weeping. It was a spirit filled moment. A beautiful moment. But God wasn't done yet...oh no. Another kick in the spiritual butt. "I want you to testify". Huh, what? You want me to tell all these people that I was ready to pummel my child last night? "Yep, that's what I want." So I did...amidst the tears. I'm not really sure what I said, but the whole thing ended with a group of ladies surrounding me and praying! Many shared they had been through similar circumstances but one stood out among the rest and someone who truly understood my situation. (Thank you Lord, for that!) So, that was Sunday. Monday morning rolls around and my attitude is 180 degrees different. For the first time in quite awhile I feel a peace inside...having replaced the deep-rooted bitterness that was consuming me. Wonderful, wonderful day! Tuesday...not bad. Wednesday...slowly going downhill. Thursday...Friday...Saturday: ready for another emotional breakdown! Not exactly where you thought this story was going!! But the story doesn't end there. I love to read...and write...and God obviously knows that about me (since he created me) and that is where the rest of the victory lies. Books have been pouring into my life (one quite literally showed up unexpectedly in an Amazon smile box...thanks Michelle!) and God is slowly using them to begin a great awakening in my life. Here's the list...
I don't believe God wants me to live trapped in this life of bitterness and anger and rage. Many who know me may be surprised to find out I struggle with these (then again, maybe they won't??). But I want to share this journey...for you and for me. I want to be able to look back and see what God has done. I want to stay motivated to seek him by knowing that others are anxiously awaiting the next chapter. Most importantly, I want this journey to glorify HIM. "I long to make your life a glorious adventure, but you must stop clinging to old ways." - Jesus Calling, July 5th Here's to the journey... Romans 12:1ish (The Msg): "Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him."
At first I thought, well this sounds easy. I can embrace the blessings and the good days and the answers to prayers and... But then I read the verse again (and the verses surrounding it) and realized that's not exactly what Paul meant when he wrote this verse. If I'm going to embrace what God does for me...that's going to mean the good and the bad. Here's what I mean... God disciplines us. "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11. Experiencing God's discipline can be hard. It can bring tears, struggles, sacrifice, pain... But Paul says I am to embrace it. Why? I think the answer is just a few lines down in Romans..."God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you." God can't do that amazing work of maturing me and making me more like him (isn't that the ultimate goal of a Christian) if I'm not willing to embrace the discipline he puts me through to get me there. God calls us to give of ourselves. The Christian life isn't designed to be about me. It's designed to be about Jesus and those that need to know him. America has become a very self-centered society. "I'm doing me now" is an expression my correctional officer husband hears a lot. And since he's hearing it from inmates, I'm guessing that didn't work out too well for them. Back to the topic...giving of ourselves is no longer something that comes naturally to our society. Giving requires sacrifice...which may require pain. But God says I am to embrace it. Even if it means surrendering the things I most hold dear. Embracing what God is doing isn't always going to be easy. But I firmly believe it will always be worth it. We might not be able to see that at the time...but looking back, we will know that God had everything safely in his hands. A little further ahead in Romans (verse 11) we find this advice..."Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder." God will give us the strength to not only endure, but embrace what he leads us through. And when we get to the other side (of the problem or to heaven!) we will also be able to embrace his blessings. To bask in his presence...to celebrate his joy...to rest in his peace. **concordance credit: blue letter bible Most of us as women (and some men) are multi-taskers by nature. We try to get as much done at one time as possible. And even if we weren't "born" that way, technology has assured us it is simple enough to convert. A "born" multi-tasker myself, I am constantly trying to get as many things done at one time as possible. Check e-mail while fixing dinner, while doing laundry, while watching TV, while playing with Evan, while trying to have a phone conversation with my mom. WHOA! That just sounds overwhelming. And what is the end result? Everything is half done and Evan is screaming for attention. Did I really accomplish that much more than if I had focused on one task at a time? God is really working on my heart in this area...especially when it applies to Evan (and Jay, but more Evan). I am learning that when I'm doing things with Evan (reading, playing, eating together) I need to be there both physically and mentally. Too many times I'm guilty of trying to get a zillion other things done (especially on the computer) while still "playing" with Evan. IT DOESN'T WORK!! Evan starts getting bored, then getting into things, then getting grumpy because I'm getting mad. This does not sound like a fun day. I knew something had to change when the other day Evan came and "pushed" me out of my computer chair so I would get on the floor and play with him :( Is this what I want to teach my child? That relationships are of such minor importance that they can be attended to while doing multiple other things? Not really. So I'm making some changes. 1/ I need to separate Jennifer time from Mommy time. This might mean getting up early (or going to bed later if that works better for you). If I get up before he does, I can spend time doing my stuff without distraction or guilt. 2/ When Evan wants to play, I need to stop what I'm doing and devote my attention to him. I know, we all have important things to get done. But seriously, what could be more important than confirming to your children that they are loved and cared for. For me, this means turning off the computer, turning off the TV and getting down on the floor so I can play at his level. This may not be the most exciting part of my day, but I know it makes Evan feel like the most loved kid in the world. 3/ I will enlist the help of others when I need a break. I'm guilty of giving and giving and giving and never taking time to rejuvenate. Maybe it's asking my hubby to take bath time for a night. Maybe it's going out to eat so I don't have to clean up dishes (dollar menu anyone?). Maybe it's finding a playmate to go to the park with. During those small breaks and changes of routine, I can take a deep breath and refocus. It won't be easy to change how I live...but I truly believe it will be worth it. One day not long from now I imagine it will be the other way around. I'll want to play and Evan will want nothing to do with me. So I better savor it while I can! If I've learned anything as a mother in the past 16 months, it's the importance of taking time away from being a mother. We all need time to ourselves. Time to renew and refresh...physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. I know it is hard, but carving out time for yourself is essential. Maybe you take yourself to a movie or out to dinner. If money is tight, you can brew a cup of coffee at home, grab a book, and find a quiet place to read. If the weather cooperates, you could take a walk around the neighborhood by yourself. Whatever you decide to do, make sure it is something you enjoy (not feel obligated to do). The other day I mowed the yard just to have some decompression time. Ideal? Probably not. But it gave me a good hour for my mind to wander and rest. When you take time to renew yourself, you become a better wife and mother. I can tell when it's time for "me" because I get edgy, short tempered, and basically a bear to be around. When this happens, schedule your time...just as you would a dentist appt. Short of a true emergency, make this time non-negotiable (meaning you don't give it up to do something motherly...I'm guilty of this). Whether you can carve out 15 minutes or 5 hours, you will find yourself renewed and ready to be with your family again. So schedule some "me time" today...and don't feel guilty. Even Jesus took time by himself! Make "me time" your goal this week!
I love reading God's word. I also enjoy writing about it when he speaks to my heart. My intent is not to offend or "guilt" anyone. These are simply the words God leads me to write. More often than not, they speak to my heart as much as anyone else. As the old song said "I'm just a sinner saved by Grace". I'm no better than others because I have Christ...I'm blessed! You will often find these writings as part of my blog. Please feel free to leave comments!
This morning I was reading in Romans. Chapter 8, verse 15 (The Message) says this..."This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike 'What's next, Papa?'". Living the Christian life does not mean I sit around on my hands, bored out of my mind. I think some people perceive it this way. They fear that if they surrender to God, they will lose out on the fun and adventure of life. But this verse says that is not true. It says living for God is an "expectant adventure"!! It's getting out there, getting dirty, maybe getting lost a time or two, but coming to the end saying "Wow, that was amazing". If you feel living for Christ is "boring" then I'm afraid you've missed something. God didn't call us to be bumps on a log. He wants way more for us than that. The adventures may not always be what we expected, but if we are willing to trust God and let him lead us, we will find his blessings overflowing in our lives. Welcome to Handcrafted Homestead. I hope you have enjoyed your visit so far. I've started this business to try and avoid working a 9-5. Our goal as a family is to live off one income, with just enough being made from the business to give us some "extra". My husband and I have one son, a 16-month old. He's full of spunk and keeps me hopping almost constantly. My hope for this blog is to follow my journey as a mother...what I learn, what works, what doesn't. Some recipes here and there... And hopefully (eventually) our journey to buy property, build a house, and "live off the land" (plus one full-time job).
Please come back and visit often. My goal is to post weekly...more when God leads that way. Thanks for visiting! Jennifer |
AuthorMy name is Jennifer Gardner. I'm married to an amazing man and we have a spunky, yet loving son. This is my life's journey. Archives
May 2015
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